Updated: Apr 9, 2020
When anyone starts in a new industry, they are usually bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, ready to tackle any challenge and ready to say “YES! “To any opportunity that comes their way.
But as I am sure you can attest, once those rose-tinted glasses wear off and you’ve spent some time in the industry, you will find out that you, can not possibly say yes to everything.
After years of continually saying “Yes!” And being an eternal optimist, you can bet this was a hard pill to swallow, for me.
Lucky for you, I have found a fool proof way of saying “No!”
The key to the art of saying no, is by illustrating that, by saying “No,” you are acting in the best interest of the other person.
If you were a bride, would you want someone doing your hair and makeup if they felt like they weren’t the best fit for you? No!
If you were going in for surgery that you have waited your entire life for, but the doctor didn’t think he could actually complete the surgery, would you want him to go forward with the surgery because he didn’t want to disappoint you by cancelling? No!
If someone has hired you or you have committed to an opportunity, the other person expects that you can fulfill that commitment. The second that you feel like you can not fulfill their expectation or commitment, they would expect you to do the right thing.
Will they be mad?
Will they be disappointed?
Will they never work with you again?
Honestly? Maybe. But in my experience, people value honesty and integrity more.
They may be upset at first, but many come around eventually.
Below is an example of an actual email thread between WedLocks and a bride, who we knew we weren't the right fit for:
If you read through this whole email chain, you will see that no matter what, we always are trying to do right by the client. If we know we aren't the right fit, I'm not just going to take her money and hope for the best. It's her freaking wedding and it's too important to us and especially to her!
Even though she was extremely upset and disappointed at first, I think she did eventually see that we weren't going to just leave her to fend for herself, I personally reached out to every reputable company that I knew to find her a suitable option. Ultimately, she did end up going with one of the vendors we had suggested and reached out to and she looked gorgeous! (I did a little sleuthing to see her wedding photos.)
Here's what it boils down to: DO THE RIGHT THING!
I would love to hear your thoughts and stories about times you've had to say no!